Rockingout(djsos) Not Exactly "Rock"
This song is nice. I can tell that you are more accustomed to hip-hop and rap. The guitar would be more full and the notes would be less defined if it were truly "rock". Also, rock music is based more around guitar than the beat. The guitar should be more intense with less repetition, and less rhythm. Also, it seems like more of a guitar you would find in loops used in hip-hop, because there is too much "atmosphere" to it. In other words the recording caught too much reverb caused by the sound bouncing off the walls, and not enough treble (Less treble sounds less natura.l).
Also, as I said before, rock focuses less on the beat, and here the beat seems very emphasized. For rock, focus more on the tune than the rhythm. One thing that would help this dramatically is if you changed the typeof drums and made the drum part more drving with less variation. If you make the drum part more consistent and faster, it would let the listener focus more on the other instruments. It also wouldn't hurt to add cymbals and a hi-hat.
This isn't a bad song, it's just not reall rock. It might pass for nu-metal (Korn, Tool, etc.), but not true heavy metal. If you are confused about any of the stuff I'm talking about, Slipknot's music would be a good example of the type of drums, and Three Days Grace would be a good example of the type of guitar. Of course, what I've said is only a basic map of rock music. There are many different types. From punk, like Fall Out Boy, to heavy metal, like Avenged Sevenfold, and in the middle, like Linkin Park. The type of rock I've explained here leans more towards the Avenged Sevenfold side. Industrial (like Rob Zombie or Nine Inch Nails) would probably be the most natural to you, though, because it is very much alike hip-hop in the sense that it is rhythm driven and has a "heavy" feel to it. It would be a good idea to start with Industrial and work your way into the genre.
Nice attempt and nice song though. Sorry this review is so long.